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ONE LINERS FROM A LOVING HUSBAND...



A classic, always fun to read it again

Red Skelton was an old timers' favourite. His humour was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner's from the man who was known for his clean humour. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
 Little beverage, good food and companionship
 She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
 
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
 Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .
 
3. I take my wife everywhere....
 but she keeps finding her way back.
 
4... I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
 "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
 So I suggested the kitchen.
 
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

 
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
 to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
 
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburettor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
 
8.. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
 Then the mud fell off.
 
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
 For the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
 
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

 
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
 first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
 I don't like to interrupt her.

 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" and I said, "Dust!"


 
Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. Those were the good old days when humour didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.

And he always ended his programs with the words, "God Bless."


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This blog is all about timepass emails, funny emails, romantic emails, fultoo email time pass. :)

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