Email Timepass: Funny

Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Corporate humour :) fuunnyyyyyyyy

Posted by Editor at Wednesday, June 9, 2010 comments (0)

Comedy Quotes..........but true Ones

Posted by Editor at Tuesday, May 25, 2010 comments (0)

Papa control aapki bahu hai............... :)

Posted by Editor at Monday, May 3, 2010 comments (0)

खंडू जगदाल्यांच ऑरकुट प्रोफाइल :)

Posted by Editor at Thursday, April 22, 2010 comments (0)

April Fool's day Wishes

Posted by Editor at Wednesday, March 31, 2010 comments (0)

For More Marathi Kavita, Marathi Jokes, Marathi Charolya, Lekh scraps, Stories, Greetings, Sahitya etc
Please Visit: http://mannmajhe.blogspot.com/

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With Lots Of Love
Sachin Haldankar.

Funny Letter :)

Posted by Editor at Thursday, March 25, 2010 comments (0)

Mr. Bean in Avataar :)

Posted by Editor at comments (0)

Imagine how Mr. Bean would have looked in Avatar :))

Pune IPL Jersey - T-shirt :)

Posted by Editor at Tuesday, March 23, 2010 comments (0)

Terrific Tongue Twisters to Twist Your Tongue

Posted by Editor at Monday, March 22, 2010 comments (0)

Terrific Tongue Twisters to Twist Your Tongue :P

1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

5. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

6. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

7.Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"

8. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.

9. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES

10. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

11. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"

12. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.

13. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

14. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue

15. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.

16. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.

kuchh nahi

Posted by Editor at Sunday, March 21, 2010 comments (0)

How often have you asked a friend, who is visiting you in the evening,"What will you have?" and been told " Kuch nai"-- Kuch nai ? --- Especially --- from the friend's wife?

And now, this Indian from England has come up with the appropriate response: He promptly pulls out THIS bottle!!

Please note the name he has given his distillery!

True 'INDIAN' - the land of five rivers, where more Scotch flows every night than is produced in Scotland!!!

HUSBAND AND WIFE - FUNNY JOKES........ :)

Posted by Editor at Wednesday, March 17, 2010 comments (0)

Husband and Wife Jokes!!!!!



1) Wife:   Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?

Husband:   Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay...
************ **

2) Husband:    Malang baba, meri biwi bohot

pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang:   Beta, hal hota to mein malang kiu banta..?
************ **

3) Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab:    Pata nahi bhai, meri to kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.
************ **

4) Wife:   Main bazar ja rahi hoon,
mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!

Husband (ghusay se):   Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!

Wife:   Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!
************ **

5) wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to (aik Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.
************ **

6) An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL:   Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl:     Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.
************ **

7) They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
After marriage:    It is self-defense
************ **

8)Wife:     You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling:    When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife:     You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling:   Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?
************ **

9)How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then...
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
************ **

10) Teacher:      Wo Kon si Cheez Hai Jo Insaan Ki Izzat Ko Mazbooti Se Jakhre Rakhti Hai?
Student:      MISS, SHALWAR KA NARRA
************ **

11) Husband 2 Wife :      Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband :    Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife :      Abbe gin ne to De
************ **

12) Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti
************ **

13)Wife:     yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes!
Husband:      yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!
************ **

14) Whats the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
************ **

15)Husband:    u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:     Nonsense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
************ **

16) Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-     Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.
************ **

For More Marathi Kavita, Marathi Jokes, Marathi Charolya, Lekh scraps, Stories, Greetings, Sahitya etc
Please Visit: http://mannmajhe.blogspot.com/

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With Lots Of Love
Sachin Haldankar.

Sardar's slippers =====

Posted by Editor at comments (0)

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST ONE I HAVE SEEN TILL DATE ... :D
Sardar's slippers outside a Gurdwara
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If RAMAYANA was on FACEBOOK............!!!

Posted by Editor at Wednesday, February 24, 2010 comments (0)

3 IDIOT - OFFICE VERSION

Posted by Editor at Saturday, February 20, 2010 comments (0)

SLOW SE PADO --

New version

Saari umr hum
office mein mar gaye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do

Saari umr hum
office mein mar gaye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again

Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again

Kandhon ko laptop Ke bojh ne jhukaya
Client se jhoot bolna tho khud Manager ne sikhaya

5 ka rating laaoge to chhuti, varna kismat futi
Kaam kar kar ke pada Ungaliyon pe REVIEW, SCREEN aur REWORK ka chaala

Is Project ne to sala poora..
Poora bheja pakka daala

Career to gaya
GF bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
jeene do jeene do

Career to gaya
GF bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
jeene do jeene do

Saari umr hum
office main jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again

Give me some flight
Give me some train
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na

Dahej me dhokha ??????

Posted by Editor at Thursday, January 21, 2010 comments (0)

ONE LINERS FROM A LOVING HUSBAND...

Posted by Editor at Wednesday, January 6, 2010 comments (0)

A classic, always fun to read it again

Red Skelton was an old timers' favourite. His humour was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner's from the man who was known for his clean humour. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
Little beverage, good food and companionship
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .

3. I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4... I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburettor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8.. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
For the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" and I said, "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. Those were the good old days when humour didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.

And he always ended his programs with the words, "God Bless."

बाबा खालिद बंगाली :)

Posted by Editor at Tuesday, December 29, 2009 comments (0)

Boss aaa Gujarat che.....

Posted by Editor at Thursday, December 24, 2009 comments (0)

................................................

GUJARAT IN THE NEWS !

According to the August 8 report of the National Council of
Applied Economic Research, the richest city in India is now Surat , ahead of Bangalore and Madras , with an average annual household income of Rs 0.45 million (over $11,000 per year).

80 per cent of all diamonds sold anywhere in the world are polished in Surat 's 10,000 diamond units.

The only non-Jews in the Tel Aviv and Jerusalem diamond bourse (stock exchange) are GUJARATI (Not Gujjus..)

Between 2004-5 and 2007-8 Surat 's middle class doubled in size and its poor reduced by a third.

The fifth richest city in India is now Ahmadabad , ahead of Bombay and Delhi , and miles ahead of Calcutta .

The percentage of man-days lost in Gujarat due to labor unrest is 0.42 per cent, the lowest in India .

Of Gujarat 's 18,048 villages, 17,940 have electricity. Under Chief Minister Modi, the face of industrial Gujarat is changing.

The world's largest oil refinery is coming up in Jamnagar . Owned by Reliance, it already refines 660,000 barrels of oil a day and will double that this year.

Thirty per cent of India 's cotton is grown in Gujarat, 40 per cent of India 's art-silk is manufactured in Surat , employing 0.7 million people.

The world's third largest denim manufacturer is Ahmedabad's Arvind Mills.

A KPMG report says 40 per cent of India 's pharmacy industry is based in Gujarat with companies like Torrent, Zydus Cadila, Alembic, Dishman and Sun Pharma.

The state of Gujarat's GDP has been growing at 12 per cent a year for the last 12 years, as fast as China 's.

India's wealthiest man, Mukesh Ambani of Reliance, is Gujarati.

Forbes says he is the world's fifth richest man, worth $43 billion.

Azim Premji of Wipro, is Gujarati. He is the world's 21st richest man, worth $17 billion.

Ten of the 25 richest Indians are Gujarati. Some of the best business communities in India -- Parsis, Jains, Memons, Banias, Khojas and Bohras -- speak Gujarati.

The two great leaders of the subcontinent, the Mahatma and the Quaid, were both Gujaratis from trading communities. One a Bania, the other a Khoja.

Gujaratis number 55 million, five per cent of India's population living on six per cent of surface area, but hold 30 per cent of all Indian stock.

Gujaratis account for 16 per cent of all Indian exports and 17 per cent of GDP.

And I am a Gujarati too...:-)

....... PROUD TO BE
A GUJARATI BUT 1ST PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN(Not a GUJJU ...... as was mentioned in this mail when I got it)...

Funny Leave Applications......Must Read.

Posted by Editor at Tuesday, December 22, 2009 comments (0)

..........................................................................................................................................

It's murder of English language. But Too Funny. ..........

Just Read It.

The Leave Applications;)

· Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."

· This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

· Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

· From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

· Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

· An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."

· A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

· Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

· Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

· Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

· Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

· Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

· A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.